People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

            What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

            If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

  The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

 Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Our actions, although judged by others, should never be between us and them.

One of the hard things about having an incarcerated spouse, is loving someone that you know is hated by others.

I have lost some relationships in my family because of my decision to continue loving my husband. To say this has been a painful journey is an understatement.

What I have seen play out from this event in my life is that there doesn’t seem to be room for forgiveness in a space so full of hate and anger. It seems like both feelings cannot occupy the space. One defeats the other and fills it completely.

I have had many people attempt to persuade me that it would be best if I left my husband.

I remember sitting in court and hearing the prosecutor fight for my husband to not get treatment, that because of his mistakes, he was not worth fixing.

It is hard to love someone that is hated, because I want everyone to see what I see. Someone who made a mistake and desperately wants to change. Someone who wants to fix the root cause of the problem and is willing to put in any amount of work to get there.

If everyone chose to turn their back on him, would he stand a chance in getting better? Would the isolation heal him and make the world a better place? Would we all be better people by joining together in unity of anger? Would any issues be resolved?

I’m going to take a wild guess and say, no.

What would life look like if we all chose to stop loving the people around us that seem broken? I think it would look dark, dreary, and lonely. When we love someone, it is not just for the recipient, it is for the giver. Love is healing. Love is cleansing. Love is power. For the giver and the receiver. Somehow, the more of it we give, the richer in it we are. We need to love the people that seem broken, not just for their sake, but because of what it can allow us to become. Not only that, but if we all stopped loving the people that seem broken, none of us would be left to love. Not only that, but what kind of experiences would we miss out on in life if we only chose to love the people that seemed easiest to love?

What if we switched it all around? What if all of the energy that is put into being upset with someone was put into helping that person to become better? Who would it benefit? The giver, or the receiver?

The thing is, hate never solved any issues.

In a prayer of desperation, I was asking God what my life would look like because of my decision to love someone despised by so many people that I love. I realized that if anyone understands what it’s like to love someone that the world rejects, It’s God.

God loved his sinless son, and the world hated him. Jesus was rejected and despised, even in the moments he was baring the sins of His executors. God knows what it means to love someone when the world argues their worth. God has never feared man, or their opinion. God loves regardless. God loves endlessly. He has asked us to love too.

He is also the only one able to equip me with all I need to travel through this. If I have His stamp of approval in my decision, I really do not care what approval I get from any other outside player. Because nothing else matters.

The steps I take and the direction I walk is between God and myself. I don’t answer to anyone else.

I trust my perfectly loving guide. I trust Him with all of it.

God commanded us to love. Regardless of what the rest of the world chooses.

The question is not WHEN to love, but HOW to love.

We love always. The how is personal. Maybe for some people, the how is to keep a healthy distance. That’s fine too, but one person’s “how” has nothing to do with another person’s “how”.

My how is nobody else’s business.

Neither is yours.

If you choose love, some people will hate you for it, Love Anyways.